Chasing Dragonflies Read online

  This was not so bad yet she was amazed at how much strength she had lost in the time she was ill. She had exercised while locked up. All those long tiresome hours, she had to do something to keep her mind from turning to mush, so she would do aerobic exercises for an hour each day. Just what she remembered from school sports classes, jumping jacks, squats, sit-ups, push-ups.

  There was no way of knowing how long she had been sick. The doctors had said maybe five to six weeks. It had started as what she thought was a cold. Then one day, she woke and her head was thumping so hard she could not bring herself to get out of bed. Her dad had been angry at her when he came into her room and she had not showered. He had built a shower and toilet area for her after about six months of keeping her captive. He insisted she shower every day. Unfortunately he had not been so vigilant about clean clothes, she had three pairs of pants and two tee's in the time she was there. She had long since given up on underwear when the elastic had given way on her only pair of underpants and her bra had almost literally fallen to bits. It was not like she was going out in the world, so what had it mattered anyway?

  “There's my girl,” Xavier's voice dragged her from her memories.

  She smiled up at him, then looked to Lola who was beaming at her brother. Ignoring Lola he moved to the side of her bed and placed a kiss in her hair.

  “Lola, this is my brother Xavier,” she waved her hands between the two of them. “Xavier this is Lola my physiotherapist, we have just been doing some exercises.”

  “Yes and she is going to do just fine,” Lola announced batting her eyelashes at Xavier. Maddie brought a hand to her mouth to cover a laugh. Only it caused her to start coughing again. Struggling for air, Xavier's strong arms moved around behind her helping her to sit forward as Lola rubbed her back. “I'm okay. It's okay, thank you,” she smiled at them both as she caught her breath again.

  “Well I will go but I’ll be back tomorrow. Then we will get you up and walking again, okay?” Lola beamed at her and she could not help but think, that she was altogether far too cheery.

  “Okay,” Maddie called to Lola's back as she walked out of the room.

  “Up and walking huh?” Xavier said turning back to her.

  “Well, I don't know if you can call falling on my ass up and walking,” she huffed out a laugh.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, but I'll get there,” she smiled at her brother, reaching out to take his hand in hers reassuringly. “How's Asha doing?”

  Xavier huffed out a sigh, “She is getting better slowly. A little too slowly for my liking.”

  “What's going on with her?”

  “She has a nasty infection in the wound in her belly. The doctor said she should have had antibiotics straight away, but she didn't,” he looked away from her, suddenly finding something on the floor very interesting.

  “It's all my fault isn’t it?” she asked. Trying to catch his eye.

  “No. No of course it's not, don't talk like that.”

  She looked out the window, there were children playing on the grass outside. Her mind wandered to the children she may never have. Her and Tom had talked about having a houseful one day. Now it seemed that ship had sailed.

  “Madd,” her brother called her name. She continued watching the children, facing the fact she was responsible for someone else's pain was too much to bear. “Maddie,” he said louder, “Look at me.”

  She rolled her head against the pillow, back to meet his eyes.

  “Nobody blames you for what happened to Asha.”

  “But if it weren’t for me, she wouldn't be where she is now, would she?”

  “If it weren’t for her, you would be dead Madds.” Xavier ran his hand over his unshaven face, he had been here since she had woken. Moving between her and Asha. This must be hard on him too.

  “She should have taken the antibiotics. I know she gave me all the antibiotics, the doctors told me.”

  “Yeah...yeah she did.” Xavier stood leaning over her. “If she hadn't you would not have survived. You would be dead.”

  “But Mum and Dad would still be alive.” Tears welled behind her eyes, but she would not allow them to escape. “I was already as good as dead anyway. She should have let me go.”

  Xavier's arms enveloped her and the tears came closer to spilling. She had trained herself over many years not to cry. Even though her dad was not here to be angry at her. It was a habit hard to break. When her dad was angry, he was scary as poor Asha had found out.

  “Shh...” Xavier whispered in her ear, “We all love you Madds and we are so glad to have you here with us, don't talk like that.”

  It was the way she felt. She could have died years ago. Everyone thought she was dead already anyway. Maybe it would have been better if Asha hadn't saved her life--just let her slip away. She rubbed Xavier's back. He needed soothing.

  Chapter 4

  Maddie was feeling stronger with each passing day. Doctor Goldsworthy called on her each morning. He was confident she was ready to leave the hospital soon. She was able to walk across the room without the walker now. He told her she would still need Vitamin D and B12 injections for some months, but she would be able to start weaning off the steroids soon.

  When she heard a tap at the door, she looked up, wandering who was here now, there seemed to be a constant stream of medical people in and out of her room. Not to mention media. The nurses had called in security a few times, but the odd reporter still managed to slip by them, posing as a regular visitor.

  It was not the media or any medical personnel this time however. Looking toward the door, she could barely contain the smile that crept across her face.

  “Well hello there.” Came a familiar voice. She immediately knew Asha's voice. Whilst she had been barely conscious in those last days in the shed. Asha had talked to her. Told her stories, kept her going, kept her believing there was still hope for them both.

  “Asha,” she smiled at the woman in the wheelchair, her arm strapped close to her body. Her long dark hair was pulled back behind her. She had remembered Asha's hair.

  “How are you doing beautiful girl?” Asha asked her.

  ***

  “Good morning Doctor Goldsworthy,” she beamed at her doctor when he arrived a few mornings later. She had been up, showered, brushed her hair and teeth and was feeling great.

  “Good morning to you,” the doctor smiled back at her over his clipboard. “You are very cheery this morning.”

  “I am feeling great today, after finally having a proper shower and washing my hair.”

  “That is good news. I have some more good news for you. I think it’s about time we discharged you. I see here you have the psychologist coming in today so we will plan for discharge tomorrow. How does that sound?”

  Other than the psychologist coming back, it sounded great.

  “Awesome.”

  “We will organise out-patient appointments for you, as you will need some more physio. I would like to follow-up with you in a month or so to see how your lungs are, plus as I mentioned previously we would like you to have a course of vitamin D and B12 injections.”

  “Yeah no problem,” she smiled at her doctor, finally she was going to be allowed out. Back out into the world. She was both excited and terrified.

  Asha had already been released, although it would be a while before she could return to her nursing job. No matter how much reassurance Asha had given her, she still couldn’t help but feel that she was in some way responsible.

  She imagined, that was probably a bit the way Xavier was feeling too. He blamed himself for not finding her, for not going after their father. She knew there was no way Xavier could have known. She always knew if anyone would look for her and find her it would be her brother.

  “Okay, I will be back to see you in the morning before you leave. I will go speak to the nurse about your discharge.” He patted her on the leg before leaving the room.

  Within a half an hour there was another knock
at her door. She groaned as she looked up expecting to see Cate.

  “Tom!” her mouth suddenly went dry and her palms clammy. Here he was in the flesh...Tom, standing in front of her. All those years believing he was dead. Believing what her dad had told her. Of course she knew now that it was not true, but to know and to see him, standing there, with her own eyes, was hard to comprehend.

  He looked different now, older. His hair was shorter. His face had matured, he looked more like a man than he had when she had last seen him. But he was still the same, it was still Tom. Her Tom. After all the tears she had shed for him. All that heartbreak and here he was standing in her room, beside her bed. It was too much, she was overwhelmed by a flooding torrent of emotions. Tears flooded her vision.

  Tom moved toward her, a look of wonder in his eyes. Pulling her into his arms. It was a place she never thought she would be again and his touch felt like nothing she had ever felt. Her skin tingled like it was the first touch. The whole sensation was surreal.

  “Maddie,” the sound of Tom's voice just made him all the more real as he pulled back and searched her face. “I never thought I'd see you again.”

  Sadness flashed through his eyes as he looked down into hers.

  “I thought you were dead,” Maddie admitted to him. “Dad told me you were dead. I never stopped thinking about you,” she managed out on a sob.

  “I know,” Tom sighed. “It broke my heart when I lost you Maddie.” He moved his head closer to hers until their foreheads touched. This was something he used to do. The memories swam around her head. Memories she had long since buried, were now being unearthed.

  ***

  Maddie and Tom had met while still in high school. He was a year ahead of her. She thought he was the most beautiful boy she had ever seen with his clear blue eyes and shaggy brown hair. He was tall and athletic. He played on the school football team.

  Maddie and her friends would go to all the after school games, sit on the sidelines and watch the boys, giggling all the while.

  One sunny Thursday afternoon, while sitting with her friends, Tom approached her little group. Casually he flopped himself down on the grass beside her.

  “So,” he said self-assuredly. “I heard one of you ladies has a crush on me.” Maddie was stricken. How could he possibly know? One of her friends must have told him. She could feel her face beginning to burn, starting at the nape of her neck. She must be the colour of a tomato, she had never been so embarrassed in all her life. She wished the ground could open up and swallow her whole. Looking around angrily at her friends, she scanned their faces as they giggled foolishly. When she found out who had told him, that was it, no more friendship. She felt utterly betrayed. No one outside their group knew about Maddie's crush on Tom.

  The truth was, she'd had a secret crush on Tom since she started at school with him. Now he was in his final year and she had one year to go. She had only ever admired him from afar, not so sure she ever would have plucked up the courage to say anything to him. She was pretty sure Tom didn't even know she existed.

  “So it's you is it?” Tom’s eyes had turned to her, those blue, blue eyes.

  This was the closest she had even been to him, except for the time he had accidentally bumped her in the hallway. That time he had not paid her any mind, he had carried on talking to his friends. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She could hear the other girls laughing in the distance, but her whole world was suddenly being consumed by the blue of Tom's eyes boring into hers.

  The edges of Tom's lips started to curl up. A smile. He had a beautiful smile, to go along with the beautiful eyes. Of course she already knew that, she had been watching him for such a long time, she could almost be considered a stalker. Then he started laughing. She looked around, he was laughing at her, along with her friends.

  Maddie felt her heart fall out of her chest right there and then as her secret crush, stomped all over it. Completely crushed, she rose to her feet and ran, forgetting her friends, leaving them all behind. She couldn't however forget Tom. She wished at that moment she could, she wished he never existed. She had never felt so humiliated in her whole life.

  Maddie, was going to be the laughing stock of the school. How could she ever face Tom again? How could she ever face her friends again?

  ***

  Maddie pretended to be sick the next day. When her mum came to get her out of bed she feigned a sore throat and headache. Her mum sat on the edge of her bed, feeling her forehead as she laid limp.

  “Mmm, you don't feel hot sweetheart,” her mum shook her head. She hated lying to her mum, but there was no way she could face school today.

  “Maybe I'll call the doctor and have Xavier take you over when he finishes Uni.” Her mum didn't drive, so she would often call on Xavier, her older brother to take her places. Maddie never understood why he mum never drove. When she asked her mum had shrugged and said “Your dad doesn't want me too.”

  She loved both her parents, but she was daddies little girl. He doted on her and she knew it. Anything she wanted she knew she just had to ask her daddy.

  “I'm sure I'll be fine Mum,” she managed to whimper, only partly acting, as she really did feel sick. Only she was heartbroken sick. “Maybe see how I feel tomorrow and if I'm not better then I'll get Xavi' to take me to see the doctor yeah?”

  “Okay baby girl,” her mum conceded.

  She breathed out a sigh of relief. Her mum left her alone and she laid in bed the rest of the day watching television.

  ***

  The next morning, Xavier had come into her room early and ripped her covers back.

  “Xavier, what the hell?” she screeched as the cold air suddenly hit her bare legs. Xavier's laugh rang out through her bedroom.

  “Come on kiddo, get your swimming togs, we are going to the beach,” he announced excitedly.

  “But...”

  “No buts! Get your lazy ass out of that bed, get your bathers on and let’s blow this place.”

  “On one condition.”

  “What's that?”

  “You stop calling me kiddo,” she laughed pulling the pillow from under head and throwing it at him.

  “Okay fart-face it is then,” he chucked and ran from her room, hands over his head, so as not to be hit by yet another flying missile.

  Cruising down the street with Xavier in his beat up old Commodore, Maddie was on top of the world. Could life be any better? She adored her big brother. Except when he teased her of course, which was fairly often. But it was still cool having a big brother to hang out with, who had a car and could drive her places.

  She would be able to learn to drive soon. But in the meantime, hitching a ride with Xavier, hands down beat going places with her dad. Fancy being the daughter of the local police detective. She loved her dad, but she was a bit embarrassed by him and having Xavier drive her around definitely gave her more cool points.

  They came to a grumbling halt outside the local corner store. Maddie hopped out of the car and skipped her way into the shop to buy them both a cool drink. It was summer and the days were warm, especially driving around in Xavier's car with no air-conditioning. They were heading to the beach, so it wouldn't be long and they could cool off.

  Drinks in hand, she was heading back out the door, thinking about stripping down to her bikini and slipping into the cool waves. Without warning she ran into a road-block, she knew she should pay more attention to where she was walking. Her friends were always teasing her about having her head in the clouds and not watching where she was going. Her eyes travelled up to take in what had stopped her in her tracks and her heart took a sudden dive. There, right in front of her stood Tom.

  How could this be happening to her? Her pulse rate flew through the ceiling as she tried to catch a breath.

  “Whoa there little one,” Tom laughed. That laugh alone made her swoon. Then the memory of him laughing at her with all her friends sitting on the school oval came flooding back. She was sure that h
ad been the number one worst experience of her life. Heat rose through her body, flushing her cheeks as she stood momentarily staring at Tom like a deer in the spot-light.

  “Where are you off to?” he asked her.

  Where was she off to? What was she doing? Her mind had suddenly gone blank. She looked up to his face again and he cocked his head. Waiting for an answer. Maddie looked down at herself, cute little blue sun dress, oh yeah, now she remembered.

  “Beach,” she blurted out. Oh she was such an idiot.

  “Pardon?”

  “Beach,” she said again. “I...we are going to the beach.”

  “We?”

  “Yeah, me and Xavier?”

  The corner of Tom's mouth curled up, he did not say anything, just looked on curiously. A horn tooted from the car park where Xavier was waiting.

  “Ah I've gotta go,” she explained, pushing past him and rushing towards the car.

  “Hey, little one,” she heard Tom call from behind and turned to see him smiling at her. “Sorry about the other day at the oval.”

  “Nah it was nothing,” she waved him off. Yep nice one, she thought to herself, she managed to play that one off cool.

  “Who was that?” Xavier asked as she climbed into the passenger seat and handed him a can of cool drink.

  “Who?”

  “Don't pretend you don't know who I'm talking about kiddo. You were grinning like the Cheshire cat just now talking to that dude.”

  Maddie waved her hand in the air. “Just some guy from school,” she tried to act nonchalant, knowing full well she could not fool her brother as easily as she thought she had just fooled her love interest.

  “Whatever,” Xavier huffed out a laugh.

  He never mentioned it again that day. She was eternally grateful for that. They had an amazing day at the beach, although went home with a little sunburn. The joys of being fair skinned.

  ***

  Back at school on Monday, she was walking into class when a hand reached out and grabbed her from behind. She let out a squeal in surprise.