Chasing Dragonflies Read online

  “Oh thank goodness, I thought maybe you had a girlfriend. I heard you tell her you love her and that you would see her soon. I thought for a horrible minute there that I had totally embarrassed myself.”

  Dex let out a laugh too, he could see where she might have got that impression by his phone call. He shook his head. “Well I would have been a bit of a low-life, if I did have a girlfriend and I let you, wouldn't I?”

  Maddie shrugged and nodded at the same time, it almost looked like she was having a little seizure and he stifled a laugh. He really hated what he was about to do and wished there was another way. She moved in close to him, so close he was tempted just to reach out and grab her, pull her gorgeous little body to his. His fingers ached to touch her. He could barely recall ever wanting— needing to touch another human so much. It had been months since he had been with a woman, maybe he just needed to go out and pick himself up a nice girl for the evening. One he could walk away from in the morning. One that was not broken and precious, that he might want to keep.

  “I'm really sorry about Xavier yesterday, he gets all over-protective of me, likes to do the whole big brother thing, I suppose,” she said letting out a long sigh.

  “It's okay, he's right you know. It's probably a bad idea—us,” he waved his hands between the two of them.

  Maddie's eyes went wide in disbelief and he felt like a total asshole.

  “You have had a hard time and y'know, maybe if the time....”

  “Are you saying you don't like me?”

  “No I'm not saying that...” a shot of guilt coursed through him. “I do Madd, I like you.”

  “Then what? Xavier marches in here, all macho and now you want to cool things?”

  “It's not like that Maddie.”

  “Then what? What's it like?” she folded her arms across her chest, forcing his eyes to look where he was trying to avoid, the top of her bare breast sat just above her low cut top. He licked his bottom lip, thinking about how he would like to run his tongue across those breasts.

  No, he had to concentrate, begrudgingly he lifted his eyes back her hers, anger and sadness mixed in those green depths.

  “What it's like, is that you have been through hell these past years and I get that. I get that you want to get on and live your life. But I don't feel like I am the man you should be doing that with.”

  Maddie blew out a long puff of air, “Why do you think you get to decide what I need?” her voice rose and he recoiled. “I am so sick of everyone thinking they get to make life choices for me, because apparently I am not capable.”

  Dex ran his hands through his hair before bringing them back down roughly at his sides and raising his own voice. “Maybe it's not just all about you Maddie...”

  She took a step back and he knew he had to carry on. “Maybe I don't want to be in a relationship with you? Did you think of that? Maybe I have my own issues and I don't have time to deal with your issues as well.”

  “But...I...” she stammered, he never gave her a chance to go on.

  “I don't have time for this Maddie, I don't want to be with you okay?”

  Her face paled, he felt like the biggest asshole ever and he wanted to take her in his arms, but he knew it was better for her not be involved with him. He was trouble, his life was troubled. How could he let this beautiful, fragile little woman into his life when she was trying to find her way and he was so damned lost? He had lost his way a long time ago.

  He didn't know what he expected, how he expected her to react, but she just stood there staring at him, as if he had just spoken to her in Japanese. It was awkward, had she not understood what he had just said to her?

  “So ah... I should be just about finished up here and you won't have to see me again,” he offered.

  Still nothing, just a blank stare. “Maddie?”

  She looked up at him, her sad eyes meeting his. “I don't know what to say,” she whispered.

  “I'm sor...” he went to apologise, but stopped. He was sorry, he was so very sorry, he did not want to hurt her. “It's just better this way,” he said turning away from her stare. He knew it was better, it could never work, he was better off alone and she would soon move on and find someone who could look after her.

  He didn't turn back around for the longest time, worried she might still be standing there, looking at him with her pretty green eyes. Showing him how much hurt he had caused her. It was over before it had begun, it was not like they were together. Yes, they had danced around each other since they had met, they had even shared a brief kiss. There was a clear attraction from the beginning, she was so easy to talk to. Maybe, just maybe, if it weren't for her having been a prisoner for the past six years he wouldn't feel he had to protect her from himself. Most of the girls he spent time with he didn't give two hoots about, he did not care how they felt. Maddie he did, he felt too much. That was the problem.

  Chapter 14

  Maddie

  “Well I guess that's that then.” Maddie huffed throwing papers down on the table.

  “What's what?” Patrick asked, snatching the papers up, looking at them, then at Maddie raising his eyebrows. “This is the bill for your car?” He asked her with a look of confusion.

  “How observant of you,” she sneered.

  “Does this mean no more Dex coming around?”

  “No need to look so damned happy about it,” she snapped. She knew Patrick was not Dex's number one fan.

  Patrick made a poor attempt at hiding his smile. “What happened?

  Maddie puffed out her chest and pulled herself up to her full height, mimicking a man's voice she said, “Big brother happened.”

  “Is that what he said?” Patrick laughed, giving up on trying to hide his amusement.

  “No, that's not what he said. No, I got the whole, it's not you it's me speech.”

  “Ouch,” Patrick winced.

  “Yeah,’ I know right, but of course it comes after my asshole of a brother gave him a hard time.”

  “He is a bit like that, he gave me a bit of a flogging once too.”

  “Who Xavier?”

  “Yeah, Ash and I had a fight at the club, I was drunk and admittedly I was being a bit of a dick. Xavier came storming out, carrying on about talking to his girl like that and started hitting me.”

  Maddie's chin dropped, “When was that?”

  “Right before your...ah... right before Asha got...”

  “Before my Dad took her? Is that what you're trying to say?”

  Patrick looked down at the table. Suddenly lost for words, he just nodded his head.

  “See my brother is a boof head,” Maddie sighed. “I might never get a boyfriend at this rate.”

  “He is just looking out for you, don't be too hard on him.”

  “Yeah whatever,” she huffed out. “So I reckon you should take me in to get a tattoo, Trick.”

  Patrick stopped cutting the salad he was preparing for dinner and stared at her across the table, where she sat drinking a glass of wine.

  “Do you want Xavier to kill me Madd?”

  She laughed, “Why?”

  “It's not like I'm his best friend now. He would spin a cog if I took you to get a tattoo!”

  “Well it's not up to Xavier is it?”

  “Yeah, but...”

  “But what? I'm an adult. If you don't want to take me, I'll take myself. I just thought that...” she waved her hands in the air, wiggling her fingers up and down, gesturing toward his tattooed arms. “Y'know, you would know where to go and stuff.”

  “Yeah I know a guy in town, but...” he scratched his head, looking confused. “What are you wanting anyway?”

  “Well, I was thinking of getting Tom's tattoo covered up.”

  “Tom's tattoo?”

  “You've seen it....when we went to the beach last week.”

  Patrick shook his head, so she stood from her chair at the table and unbuttoned her shorts, she thought Patrick's eyes might fall out of his head. Pulling he
r shorts down a little way she showed him where on her left hip she had Tom 16 tattooed.

  He raised his eyebrows at her, “Why 16?”

  “It was Tom's football number.”

  “Fair enough, so what are you thinking of getting?”

  “I think I want something over the top, not sure what yet, maybe dragonflies. I want something that symbolises freedom.”

  Patrick nodded, “Okay, I'll see when I can book you in. I will have to ask him, some tattooists are funny about doing cover ups. You know it’s some kind of artist’s code or something.” He huffed under his breath.

  “Thanks Trick that would be so awesome if you could do that.”

  “Yeah no dramas. I will have to work it in around work.”

  “What work? Has Xavier roped you in again?”

  “No Aunty Polly...she was short someone to work on the bar at her club.”

  She raised her eyebrows at him in question. “Aunty Polly? As in my Aunty Polly?”

  Patrick laughed. “The one and only.”

  “Have you been to her club? Do you know what kind of ...establishment she runs?”

  “So?”

  “So? What do you mean so?”

  “I'll be working on the bar Maddie.”

  “Ok...ay” she said drawing out the word.

  “What?”

  “Oh nothing,” she smiled. Thinking about Patrick and all those girls. Gosh, he was going to love it.

  Chapter 15

  It was a beautiful evening. Evenings like this, made her feel so alive. It was warm, there were a few flies buzzing around but even that couldn't dampen Maddie’s spirits right now.

  Her and Trick had shared a meal of chicken kebabs with caeser salad and were now sitting on the back deck in fold out chairs. Watching as the sun sink behind the trees. A warm breeze pricked at her bare arms. She extended her legs out and rested her feet on the railing as Patrick handed her a cold beer. This is what it was all about. If anyone had asked her two months ago where she would be now, she would have thought,, and probably even hoped dead.

  She never could have allowed herself to imagine, sitting in the night air. Listening to the crickets croak and drinking a cold beer.

  “This is amazing isn't Trick?” she let out a long sigh as her gaze wandered the backyard, it needed mowing. She made a mental note of that.

  “What's amazing?”

  “This,” she extended a hand and waved around the area in front of her, “all of it.”

  When he didn't answer, she rolled her head back, then around to the side to look at him. She found him staring hard at her profile. He had warm brown eyes, but in this light they looked almost black.

  “What?” It felt like his eyes were boring right into her.

  He shook his head and then looked back into the yard. “It's a nice time of the year.”

  “It all feels so strange still y'know? It feels like everyone has forgotten and now everything is back to how it was. Like nothing has changed, but at the same time, everything has changed. Nothing is was it used to be.”

  Patrick handed her a joint, and as she sucked in a puff it caught in her chest making her cough. Her cough had almost dwindled to nothing, this was not going to help. She let out a giggle as the effects went straight to her head.

  “I miss my dad,” she said when the giggles subsided. Looking to Patrick and waiting for his reaction. She didn't have to wait long. He took a long sip of his beer before turning to face her.

  “I can't say I understand that... I mean the man was a monster.”

  She had expected such a response. 'Monster' was the term coined by the media. She had tried to avoid it as much as she could, but sometimes it was hard to miss. Every time she turned on the TV or the internet, there were photos of her dad. The main photo they used was one of when he was working as a detective all those years ago. He was a handsome man in his uniform. Looked a lot like Xavier in fact.

  “He was my dad,” she huffed. “I know the world sees—saw something different to me. But I loved him and he loved me. Even though it was a bit twisted and wrong. I know what he did to Asha was wrong,” she shook her head. “All the world sees is this horrible man who bashed his wife and abducted a poor innocent nurse—they don't see what I saw. A dad who loved his wife and kids.”

  She felt a hand on her knee and looked to where Patrick's hand was resting on her. Letting her head drop back, she looked up to the sky. Not really focusing on anything, lost in her own thoughts.

  “Do you think it's wrong of me to be angry at my mum? I can't really say anything to Xavier about it because I know he doesn't understand. I know I probably shouldn't... but I can't help but be so damned angry at her.” She ground her teeth, just the thought of her mum made her blood pump faster. “She took my dad away from me...he was the only person in the world who loved me.”

  “No Maddie, that's not true,” Patrick pleaded.

  “It is true, he should still be alive damn it!”

  “He would have gone to prison Maddie. He would have spent the rest of his life in prison, is that what you would have wanted?”

  She let out a harsh, bitter laugh. “I guess that would have been some kind of justice wouldn't it?”

  “I never met your parents Maddie, I only know what Asha has told me. I don't think your mum would have coped with your dad being locked away. She was dying Madd.”

  “I know she was, but why did she have to take him as well? She was a selfish asshole.” A lone tear trickled down her face. “I loved him Trick. I fuckin' loved him, he was my dad and now he's gone.”

  Chapter 16

  Dex

  Dex knew it was for the best, telling Maddie he was not interested in pursuing something with her, so why did it feel so wrong? Truth was, he was interested in Maddie. She was the first woman who he had really been interested in since he lost his wife. What was there not to be interested in? She was gorgeous, funny, cheeky, sexy, complicated, damaged.

  That was where the problem lie, complicated and damaged. Part of him felt he wanted to be the hero and swoop in and help her with her problems. The reality was though, that he was so damaged himself, that he did not know if he would even be able to help her with her issues. The last thing she needed in her life was someone with issues of their own.

  He blamed himself for what had happened to Issy. If he had not been drunk that night, she would still be here. They would be raising Shyla together, happily, as it should be. But he had been an idiot and now he was bound to suffer for the rest of his life. It was his lot. It was what he deserved.

  The day he had told Maddie he couldn't see her was the day he had finished up with her car. He had been to chicken to even knock on her door with the bill and had posted it into her mailbox. He had given her a massive discount too. It did not seem right to charge her at all, but he needed to live, he had bills to pay, just like everyone else.

  The hurt in her eyes would haunt him and he had to put it out of his mind. It had been several days since he had seen her and yet, he saw her every time he closed his eyes. Damn he needed to think of something else, someone else maybe to take his mind off her. It would get easier, he knew it would. He just had to move past her, move on. It was just a moment of weakness.

  When Tony had called and told him to come into the tattoo shop because he had a quiet afternoon, he thought it might be just the thing to get his mind of her. Tony had been his mate since high-school. Lucky for Dex, as he had never had to pay for a tattoo. Also lucky for him that Tony had definitely improved over the years and covered over the original backyard tattoos he had first put on his body.

  What he had not anticipated was seeing the very woman he was desperately trying to forget. Tony liked to be able to watch the comings and goings in his shop at all times, even though he had a girl working on reception. He was always paranoid, keeping half an eye on his work, the other on the door. All the other tattooists had private areas. Not Tony. His customers had to be happy to be on display or see some
one else. It never bothered Dex.

  He reclined on the couch, his chest bare as Tony worked away at the shading of his latest tattoo, the Southern Cross on the side of his torso, just above his hip. The door swung open and it was Trick he noticed first, although his brain did not make the connection immediately. Right behind him, even more stunning that she was in his memory, was the woman he had seen every night in his dreams for the past few weeks. Her pretty blonde hair hanging down loose, a tight little pink top on with her shoulders exposed, showing off her beautiful milky white skin, with just a hint of freckles. Impossibly tiny little shorts covering her perfect little butt cheeks.

  He was suddenly uncomfortable and tried to shift himself, so as not to cause embarrassment. Tony looked over to Maddie, then back to him, letting out a low chuckle. If only he knew.

  Maddie caught his eye and smiled. Her smile faded quickly as sadness swamped her features. Raising his hand he gave her a wave and Trick a nod. She checked in with reception and was led into the back of the shop. Tony's gaze followed her, as she walked he let out a low whistle and Dex had to resist the urge to punch him.

  “You know that little hottie?” he asked when she was out of sight.

  “Yeah, we've met,” he grunted at his friend.

  “Well?”

  “None of your fuckin' business.”

  End of conversation. Tony knew him well enough to know when not to push him for further information. It was also the end of his relaxation. So much for not thinking about Maddie.

  He could hear her chatting and giggling in the next cubicle. Just thinking about someone with their hands on her was making him crazy. Making her giggle? Seriously Maddie? This woman was going to be the end of him.

  Chapter 17

  Maddie

  Walking into the club, Maddie immediately noticed Dex. He was sitting at a table with two other men, one she recognised from the tattoo shop, the other an older man who she had not seen before. Be damned if she was going to let him beat her, she lifted her head high, straightened her shoulders and set out straight toward him. He had not appeared to see her yet.