Collecting Scars Read online

  A surge of jealousy flooded her veins, she wasn't sure why it’s not like she had any claims over him. In fact, she knew she had no right to be feeling that way at all, she had turned him down. Xavier had asked her out to dinner tonight and she had recommended he ask one of the other girls at the bar, in fact, she was sure she had seen that very girl hanging around.

  “Hello...earth to Asha.” She could hear Gemma's voice in the distance.

  “Oh sorry Gemma,” she apologised, trying to refocus on her friend across the table from her.

  “Where were you?” Gemma looked over her shoulder, hoping to get a glimpse of who or what Asha had been staring at.

  “Sorry Gemma, it's just been a long week is all.”

  “I know right? And it's only Tuesday.” Gemma sighed “How was John today? He's been really down lately which isn’t like him at all.”

  “Yeah I know, his baby is turning three soon and I think he is just realising all he is going to miss out on. Life can be so cruel for some people, it really isn’t fair is it?”

  “Nope, it sure isn't,” Gemma shook her head.

  As they finished off their meal and their bottle of wine, Asha tried to ignore Xavier and his date. Although she could barely help but to catch the odd glimpse in their direction. After their meal, they paid their bill and headed off home. As they walked toward the door she had to walk past the table where Xavier sat, she pretended not to see him. Thinking all the while, she hoped she did not trip over and make a spectacle of herself or something equally as stupid. She was sure he spotted her, she could feel his eyes following her. “Don't look, Asha, don't look.” she chanted in her head. Anyone would think she was crazy.

  ***

  Sure as the sun comes up, the alarm sounded at six am. Much like most mornings Asha rolled over and hit the snooze button, wishing she didn't have to get up.

  As she trudged into work, she was sure she saw the van again, driving down past the crossroad. It must be someone that lived nearby, she was convinced now. They always seemed to slow as they went past her. Sometimes they seemed to go past several times and whoever was driving appeared to be staring at her. Not that she could make out their features, just the silhouette.

  “Good morning Gemma,” she called out to her friend at the reception counter.

  “Morning Asha.”

  Asha headed into her office and started up her computer, checking her email and getting started with her daily routine.

  Nearing the end of the day she answered her office phone to find her boss Maria on the other end.

  “When you’re finished with your next patient could I see you in my office please Asha?”

  “Oh sounds serious,” Asha joked. “Is everything okay?”

  “Just come in when you're done please.”

  Asha hung up the phone, wondering what that could possibly be all about. Sure she would find out soon enough.

  “Knock, knock,” Asha called out at Maria's slightly ajar office door.

  “Oh come in Asha, shut the door behind you,” she gestured to the chair across from her desk. “Take a seat.”

  Tentatively Asha sat down on the edge of the chair, running her fingertips along the velour. She wondered what this could possibly be all about, Maria was not usually this formal.

  “So,” Maria began, “I’ve had a complaint about you.”

  “Me?” Asha asked with surprise, quickly replaying recent events through her mind, wondering what she could have possibly done wrong.

  “Yes,” Maria said with a stern face, looking down and shuffling some papers in front of her. “It has been brought to my attention that you have been sending patients over to St Joseph’s hospital instead of sending them next door.”

  “Yes, of course, I have,” Asha defended. “They are useless next door! I send referrals there all the time and most the time they don't contact the patients. I’m forever having to chase up the referrals and then they tell me they have a huge wait list and the patients have to wait. For months!”

  “Well that might be,” Maria said. “But they are responsible for most of our funding and we are expected to send our patients to them as often as possible.”

  Asha's fingers dug into the side of the chair, she was starting to get angry but was trying to keep a lid on it.

  “That may be so,” she said through gritted teeth, “but it's my job to coordinate my patient's timely care and they are not providing timely care for these patients so I am sending them elsewhere.”

  “Look Asha, we have to meet certain obligations as I’m sure you are aware.”

  Asha's raised her voice slightly. “That’s bullshit and you know it, Maria. These patients need services now, not in three months’ time and if St Joseph’s can offer it to them when our own services can't then I will continue to send them there.”

  “Calm down,” Maria soothed.

  “No, I will not calm down. I am employed here to advocate for my patients and that’s what I'm doing.”

  Maria stood, leaning over her desk. “I think it's time for you to take a few days off work, you've been working six days a week and you need a break.”

  “Are you firing me?”

  “No,” Maria shook her head. “I just think your over-worked and not thinking clearly.”

  “B-b-but...” Asha tried to argue, but Maria cut her off.

  “Just take the rest of the week off, come back in fresh on Monday.”

  “I don't need time off.”

  “Yes Asha, you do. Take it as rostered days off. It's an order,” she leant in closer. “Do you understand?”

  Asha shook her head, she was angry. She was doing her job. She knew there was no point in arguing any further, so she walked out of Maria's office. Grabbing her handbag from her own office, she quickly shut down her computer and stomped out the door, without even saying good-bye.

  ***

  “Is that you Jo?” she called out when she heard the door shut an hour later.

  “Well, who else do you think it would be? Are you expecting someone?” Joanie asked leaning against the kitchen door frame.

  Asha was just pouring herself a second glass of wine.

  “We're going out tonight,” she announced standing up from the table.

  Joanie's face lit up. “About time,” she giggled.

  “So...” Asha said running her fingers through her long hair, loosening her braid. “Let's get prettied up.

  Chapter 4

  ASHA WOKE NEXT MORNING WITH a dry mouth and thumping head and as she swung an arm out from under the covers, she hit something hard and unexpected. She drew in a quick breath and held it. Her stomach flipped, so violently she thought she might throw up.

  “Oh-my-god,” she muttered silently to herself. She closed her eyes tight, hoping she was just in the midst of a vivid dream as she tried to recall the events of last night.

  She and Joanie had left the house and caught a cab to Stella's, the plush little cocktail lounge on Eighth Street. She remembered trying several different cocktails. They'd had Chocolate Martini’s, Blue Island Dreams and Lucky Charms. By that time, they had been well on their way to getting their drunk on and Joanie had suggested they go to the club to see if Xavier was working. Oh no...was it? Dare she chance a peek? Shit...how was she going to explain this one?

  Opening one eye she saw he still had his clothes on, what she could see of him anyway as he had a blanket draped over his waist. A quick self-inventory told her, she still had on...at least her top half. Crap. What else had happened?

  “Good morning gorgeous,” Xavier's sexy masculine voice broke her out of her thoughts. He sounded even sexier in the morning half-asleep was that even possible?

  He must have seen her peeking at him and this was just getting more awkward, no point pretending now. Her headache momentarily forgotten, heat was racing up her body starting at the nape of her neck, she knew she would be turning red.

  “Ah—morning,” she managed to stammer out. “Um, I ah oh god this is
embarrassing.” Asha wished she could be anywhere else in the world but here right now. “I think I need the bathroom.”

  She dove out of bed and made a dash for the en suite realising she still had her skirt on, thank goodness for that. In the privacy of her bathroom, Asha stared in the mirror at the mass of tangles her hair was in. Did what she went to do, and then quickly shoved a toothbrush in her mouth. It felt like she had been sucking on lemons or something. Actually, she vaguely remembered something about tequila shots and making lame tequila jokes, which at the time she and Joanie thought were hilarious. “Oh Asha, you are such an idiot,” she groaned to herself.

  Slowly glimpses of last night were seeping back into her thoughts. She could remember telling Xavier she thought he was sexy and calling him X. Had he been sober? He must have been, he was working on the bar. He must have brought them home. How embarrassing. How was she ever going to be able to face him? Not like she had much choice, as he was currently in her bed.

  Asha grabbed a hair-tie and was pulling her hair back out of her face as she walked back into the bedroom to find Xavier sitting on the edge of her bed.

  “Feeling better now?”

  “Yeah, a little thanks. I’m sorry, I got a bit of a shock when I woke up and saw you there. I'm--I mean, ugh. This--” she waved her hands between them, “is not really...”

  He was standing and walking towards her, palms out as if in surrender.

  “It's okay, I'm sorry I shouldn't have stayed. I didn't mean to.”

  Asha felt a little offended at that. She looked at him, completely clothed. A tight fitting navy t-shirt stretched across his broad chest, covering the hard abs she knew lay beneath as she felt them when she clung onto him the night he brought her home on his bike.

  Blue jeans covered his long legs and those same black motorbike boots, she had seen him wear before. Looking down at herself with her skimpy pink top and little black skirt she had worn out the night before, she looked a lot less glamorous than she had felt when she left home.

  “Did we?”

  Xavier moved closer, reaching out he lightly touched her elbow, with a low laugh he said, “I’m pretty sure you would remember if we did.”

  Asha felt that familiar heat creeping up her face again, gosh she wished her skin would not betray her the way it did.

  “No Asha, I didn't take advantage of you in your drunken state. I brought you and Joanie home, you were both blind. I helped you both into your beds, you were upset, saying you were worried about a black van? You don't remember?”

  Asha slowly shook her head, trying to recall what Xavier was telling her. Her last memory had been at the club.

  “I only meant to stay until you fell asleep, I guess I kinda fell asleep too. But honestly, nothing happened.”

  He still had his hand on her elbow and she was suddenly very self-conscious. He probably didn't feel like that about her at all and here she was virtually accusing him of taking advantage.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to accuse you, and I don't normally wipe myself out like that. I’ve just had a bad week. I am really sorry.” She moved her other hand to cover his where it rested on her elbow.

  “I really appreciate you bringing me home...again,” she managed a small laugh, wondering what on earth he must think of her now. “I’m sorry for being a drunken idiot, can I ah, make you some coffee or breakfast or something?”

  “Well...” Xavier looked around and pointed at the clock on the bedside table. “That would probably be brunch, and don't worry, about any of it, you're an adorable drunk, coffee would be great.”

  Over coffee, Asha and Xavier laughed about the antics she and Joanie had gotten up to the evening before. Asha felt incredibly embarrassed as Xavier recounted their jumping up on the stage and singing along with the jukebox, whilst entertaining the rest of the club patrons with their attempts at dancing in their stiletto heels.

  “I am never drinking again,” she laughed.

  “Yeah, yeah, that’s what we all say,” Xavier laughed along with her.

  “Well no more Tequila shots then, maybe,” she chuckled, her stomach hurt at the mere mention of Tequila. Why did it always seem like such a good idea at the time?

  Conversation flowed easily between them and Asha soon felt at ease talking to Xavier. It was only interrupted when she heard a knock at the front door.

  Asha excused herself and wandered down the hallway to answer the door. She knew she looked a sight, still in last night's clothes and her messy, tangled hair pulled back from her face, but she felt on top of the world. As she swung the door open her good mood abruptly came to an end.

  “Frank...um what are you doing here? Joanie's not home.”

  Frank gave her his creepy smile, which made her shudder. “Hi Asha, you look like you've had a big night.”

  “Hmm,” she murmured, what business was it of Franks' anyway? She certainly did not feel she should have to explain herself to him.

  “Joanie asked me to pop around to fix the plumbing in the main bathroom.”

  “Uh why today? Why not on Sunday when you usually come?” Asha knew she was being rude, but Frank made her so uncomfortable.

  “Can't,” he answered her shortly, “busy helping a mate with some panel-beating on Sunday...look are you going to let me in or not?”

  Asha moved from the doorway, she really had no legitimate reason not to let him in, but her intuition was screaming at her.

  “Frank,” she heard Xavier behind her and spun on her heel to look at him. Surprised he knew who Frank was, but then remembering Joanie and Xavier knew each other, therefore, it was not too surprising. She must remember to ask Joanie the story about that sometime.

  She looked back to Frank still standing in her doorway who looked momentarily stricken to see Xavier.

  He appeared to recover quickly and nodded. “Xavier.”

  Xavier leant forward and planted a kiss on her forehead.

  “I'll be off, but I've left my number on your phone, call me yeah?”

  Not really sure what to make of everything that had happened in the short time since she had woken, Asha just nodded dumbly. “Ah um, thanks for um, y'know...” she stammered.

  Xavier winked and walked out leaving her to deal with Frank alone.

  “Well I'll be in the bathroom then,” Frank huffed and wandered off down the hall.

  Asha really wanted a shower but was not sure she wanted to be naked, while she was home alone in the house with Frank. So instead she grabbed a blanket from her bed, wrapped it around herself and lay on the couch and switched on the TV. Bringing the blanket to her face, it smelt manly, masculine like Xavier. Oh gosh, what was she even thinking? Her phone buzzed on the coffee table and she reached over to pick it up and read the text.

  Joanie; Hey girl...hope you had a good night with Xave, I asked dad to come around and fix the leak in the basin. Hope your head doesn't hurt too much. See u tonite. Jo

  “Yeah thanks for telling me now,” she muttered.

  Laying back she started flicking through the numbers on her phone, sure enough, there in her contacts was X followed by his number.

  No, she was not going to fall for this guy. She just wasn't.

  Chapter 5

  MONDAY MORNING CAME AND WITH a little trepidation, Asha headed back to work. She checked in with Maria, who seemed happy enough to see her.

  “Did you have a good break Asha?” Maria enquired as she walked into her office.

  “Yes thank you, Maria, look I am sorry about going out of our area and I understand I have trod on some toes.”

  “It's okay,” Maria nodded. “I've asked for a meeting with the hospital’s allied health management team to discuss the issues of delaying referrals. I'd like for you to come along and express your concerns.”

  “Yeah for sure, thanks for that, when is it?”

  “This afternoon in the hospital boardroom. Four pm. I've had Gemma clear your schedule from two so you have time to prepare. I'm sorry it's such sh
ort notice.”

  Asha shook her head, “No, no that’s fine. Thanks, Maria, I appreciate it.” She didn't need time to prepare, she had spent plenty of time thinking about what she would like to say, given the opportunity.

  Back in her office, her first patient for the day was a woman named Kathryn who had recently been diagnosed with lymphoma. Kathryn was a well-dressed woman in her sixties. Asha noted on her paperwork she was listed as Ms, leading Asha to assume she was a single lady. This explained why she attended her appointment alone. She sat on the edge of her chair appearing nervous. Asha introduced herself and explained her role. Together they set about preparing a care plan for Kathryn, listing her upcoming dates and times for chemotherapy and making notes of who she required referrals to.

  Asha did not mind this part of her job. In fact, it could be quite rewarding, helping to put a patient's mind at ease with a customised plan for their ongoing care. Patients generally left feeling empowered as they felt they had a role to play in choosing their own care path.

  Kathryn had barely left and Asha was busy sending off a few emails. Advising key partners of the meeting outcome with her new patient, when she heard Gemma tapping at her door. She always knew when Gemma was knocking as she would quietly rap her knuckles twice in quick succession.

  “Come in Gemma,” she called out.

  “How do you always know?” Gemma laughed. “I've got Hugh and Annie Arnold out in the waiting room to see you next.”

  “Yeah, I know, I'm expecting them.”

  “Yeah but...” Gemma gave a mischievous grin, “are you also expecting their son?”

  “Ah no, but it's not unusual for people to bring their adult kids in, we are discussing advanced care planning and it often easier for them to bring the kids than to have to explain it to them later.”